June 22, 2015

Alone to All One

Alone to All One

I want to run To disappear Withdraw

Feel nothing

i want to stop

Give in

Give up

Sleep forever. I am alone in my thoughts

In my heart

Isolated

Disconnected

So much outside fear and hatred

Helpless to change

To connect

To heal.

I’m tired.

So tired.

Burnt out.

Empty

I cannot do this alone

No one can

Too hard

Too alone

I need support

A loving connection.

Partnership

Understanding

Instead, I feel alone

With a broken heart

dismissed withdrawn

I’m not enough to chase over high walls to find not enough to knock down every door until I am found not enough for another to put their own pain aside to see mine not enough

So I give instead.

All the love that I can

To anyone who needs it.

To feel purpose and give me the desire to live and breathe.

But sometimes the pain in my heart is too much to bear.

And the giving to others is not enough.

And I am tired.

And I find myself needing.

Only, when I need, I am called “negative”.

So I shut down

Withdraw.

And I am alone again.

So I breathe.

All the love that I can.

All the gratitude that I feel for life’s beauty.

And I remember.

I remember that being alone is an old story.

For I am not alone. I am deeply loved.

I am profoundly cared for.

And my heart opens.

Like a gentle flower it blooms.

And I breathe more deeply.

And I feel connected to something so much greater.

My heart then expands.

And I know that I am connected to the heart of the universe.

I know that my heart aligns with other hearts.

I know that I am cherished.

And I feel my heart beat.

I am whole.

I am all one.

We are all one.

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